


Just Once More: III

by thesnowyswan



Series: JOM: the series [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Rimming, because these two idiots are in love, death by emotions, rebecca's child is robert's but it's not a problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 07:55:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12502556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesnowyswan/pseuds/thesnowyswan
Summary: The third installment of my Just Once More 'verse.He thinks about the two times they’ve slept together since their break up and he remembers more how he felt than how they ended.Canon compliant up until I decide to fuck it all and give them a happy ending in November.





	Just Once More: III

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried to keep this series together with the new 'JOM: the series' series collection, but it's specifically [Chapter 10 of Kinktober](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12315681/chapters/28316889) that is JOM: II, not any of the others. I have marked Kinktober as finished because I have had a close personal tragedy occur and I don't know what my writing output is going to be like in the coming weeks/months and I don't want to promise things I may not be able to deliver. That being said, I have plans to add to Kinktober so keep and eye out for them, but it's not set in stone, if you know what I mean. 
> 
> Warning: in this fic, Rebecca's child is Robert's and it does somewhat play on the baby hormone trope for both of them to accept the kid, but in reality it's the 'my husband Awwron is holding a baby, let me gird my loins' and 'Saint Aaron Dingle'. Just so that I'm being clear and fair.
> 
> As always: for [Heidi (miss-bookworm)](https://miss-bookworm.tumblr.com) and [Husna (wycombewanderer)](https://wycombewanderer.tumblr.com) for their unending support of me and this story.

Robert’s son is born on a colder November day. He’s staring at his son, wrapped up in a little blue blanket in his incubator, with his small hands and closed eyes, and he wonders at how something so small can be.

A hand comes down on his shoulder and offers him a Styrofoam cup of coffee.

“Hiya,” Aaron sits down next to him and takes up staring too. Aaron’s face is a blank mask as he looks on, but Robert knows him well enough to see there’s no tension in him. He’s considering.

“He’s so small,” Robert tells Aaron, who nods, his arm brushing against Robert’s shirt.

He can’t begin to thank Aaron for what he did in helping to save this little baby’s life. A child he had once condemned before he had even taken his first breath. There’s none of that hatred in him now, he’s simply happy to have saved a life. Even if he had to save Rebecca too.

Robert, for his part, feels confused. He hadn’t expected to feel anything for this child, but he came through the doors and saw his son in his husband’s arms, he couldn’t help but accept him when Aaron handed him over, a hushed moment between them when Aaron had stroked down the blonde fluff on his head while Robert tried to arrange him against his chest.

It’s stupid and it’s selfish, but Robert can’t stop himself when he tells Aaron: “I don’t want to do this without you.”  

He thinks about the two times they’ve slept together since their break up and he remembers more how he felt than how they ended. How much he wanted to feel the spark of the love they shared, and how only when he had his hands on Aaron that he could be sure that it was even still there. Aaron hates lies, but he hasn’t stopped telling them since he handed Robert back his ring. A ring, which if he put his hand in his coat pocket he could turn over in his fingers.

Aaron’s voice is cautious, “Robert…”

“When I think about my life and how I wanted it to turn out—” Robert pulls in a deep breath, “I always wanted you in it. That was it. That was all I needed.”

“And then you left. And you were right to, I hurt you so badly, and I will _never_ forgive myself for that, but I—”

Robert feels his breath catch.

“I look at him and I know I can’t be the dad he deserves because I don’t have the best part of me.”

Now he feels stripped raw. He grabs his jacket and takes his coffee as he stands, looking down at Aaron who looks like he’s been hit by an emotional bus.

“This isn’t me trying anything. I just wanted you to know: I love you. I wanted _this_ with _you_ more than anything.”

 _A family, a life,_ forever.

 

 

 

 

 

He’s been in and out of the hospital for days, only stopping at home to sleep and change because the baby isn’t out of the woods yet and he feels like he has to see things through no matter the outcome.

There’s a knock at the door of the B’n’B but he’s the only one around now, so he catches the door on his way to get something to eat. Aaron clears his throat in the doorway as he hesitantly comes through. Robert stops in his tracks.

“You talked so now it’s my turn,” Aaron tells him, and he stands there dumbfounded but nodding. “My therapist says there’s a difference between what you want and what you need. I don’t need you.”

Robert’s heart takes the stab for what it is, but Aaron takes another step towards him, careful but relaxed.

“Not like I thought I did, like I was sinking and you were a lifeboat. You’re not super human, Rob. You made a mistake. We all do. I’ve done it plenty of times.”

“Except mine now comes with a baby and 18 years of responsibility.” Robert winces as his mouth runs before his brain has engaged.

“Yeah it does. And Rebecca is the last person I’d want tied to that, but Robert, you have a _son_.”

There’s a hundred different things weighted behind that one word and Robert hears how most of them are about how his father dismantled him and how Aaron’s…how Aaron’s destroyed him.

“You think I’m the best part of you because you don’t see,” Aaron bites his lip and lets it go, “You don’t believe how amazing you really are.”

Robert suddenly feels like he’s on an open ledge and Aaron’s holding his hand out to either pull him in or push him out.

“That kid is going to be so lucky to have a dad like you looking out for him.” Aaron’s eyes are red as he blinks back the dampness that is gutting Robert like his fear is paralysing him.

There’s so much still unsaid between them. Things that Robert’s done since Aaron let him go that he can’t bear to name but he can’t do anything other than kiss this man who knows exactly how to reach inside him and crack his ribs with his words. Aaron’s lips have a chill to them from the air, but Robert warms them with his mouth, arms wrapping around Aaron’s back as they sigh into each other. It takes everything Robert has to tear himself away from Aaron who’s blinking up at him with questioning eyes and shiny lips.

Time stands still but it’s still softer in its edges than any other time they’ve stolen a kiss.

Aaron’s hands run through the hair at the nape of Robert’s neck and it sends tingles down his back as he lets his hands fall to Aaron’s waist.

“I love you,” Robert whispers as if to truly give it voice would crack the mirage before him and wake him up alone and cold in his bed. But his imagination nods, tipping his head forward and Robert instinctively leans his head so that it rests against Aaron’s.

“You’re a dad.” Aaron repeats, softly.

Robert didn’t feel it at the hospital, or even when they handed him the baby that second time, the warm joy that surrounds his heart when Aaron says those words.

“But I don’t have you.”

Aaron’s hand grazes his cheek as he pulls back, “Maybe not. But it’s not never.”

Robert feels himself blink. It’s the most Aaron’s given him in months, and he can see what it took to even say that on his face. The uncertainty behind his eyes. He’s so hesitant that he probably doesn’t even notice how his shoulders have unconsciously started to hunch down to protect himself. Robert shakes his head and takes Aaron’s hand. He resists for a second before he lets Robert lead him up the stairs.

The room is tiny and the bed’s a joke, but Robert sits Aaron down on it, his jacket thrown on the vanity, before he forces him to shuffle over so that they both end up lying down on their sides, facing each other. Aaron lies back so that he’s looking up at the ceiling, but Robert goes with him and lays with his ear listening to Aaron’s heartbeat: steady and strong in his chest. He should be on his way to the hospital, only he can’t bring himself to care, not when Aaron’s stroking his hair and his hand resting gently on his shoulder.

It’s the same hand on his shoulder that pushes at him, gets him to roll on his back and move into the space Aaron leaves when he kneels between Robert’s legs before laying back down on him. But Aaron isn’t interested in cuddling, his mouth takes from Robert’s, lips sliding against his and biting on his lower lip and making his way inside when Robert opens his mouth on an ‘oh’. It’s reflexive, but his legs draw up to bracket Aaron’s hips where they’re pinning Robert’s to the bed. Aaron’s hand gets under his shirt, drawing circles on his belly that make him cling tighter with his thighs, his hands gentle on Aaron’s waist. They break from their kiss and Robert tilts his head up to breathe and try and clear his head.

He doesn’t want to ask, doesn’t want the answer to be no, but he’s fucked this up so many times he can’t not: “Are you sure?”

That same hand slides out and thumbs at Robert’s collar, unbuttoning the first button it meets. Aaron’s licking his lips, but Robert is holding his breath. He needs an answer.

He drops his hands away and his legs ease until his feet are flat on the bed, “Aaron.”

It’s written all over him. He’s scared to say it in case it all comes crumbling down again. That he’s coming so close to having it all, only to lose it again.

Robert catches Aaron’s hand and holds it against his chest. Aaron’s looking down like he can’t bear to look at Robert’s eyes.

“I love you.”

His eyes come up and Robert’s always stunned by the intensity of blue they are.

“I love you.”

Robert presses his lips against Aaron’s and snags his fingers against the edge of his jumper. His knuckles are brushing warm skin and he’s responding to it, he can feel it, knows the press of Aaron’s body against his.

“ _I love you_.”

If he has to fill Aaron up with 100 confessions of his love a day he will; he’ll send it with flowers, write it on posit notes, write it into his skin with his mouth, he’ll do it, just so he knows.

Aaron tucks his face into the side of Robert’s neck and Robert immediately wraps his arms around Aaron as he lays down on top of him properly.

“ _Please_.”

 _Please, I want this, please, I love you,_ please don’t hurt me again.

Robert hears him, hears everything he has to say and rubs down his back in a gentle caress. Aaron’s hands are clutching at the fabric of his shirt covering his arms. His knees go back up and the movement jostles them against each other, groin to groin and Robert bites his lip while Aaron slips out a sigh.

Aaron’s breathing turns to a kiss, soft and teasing which he flicks his tongue against Robert’s throat. His fingers pull aside Robert’s shirt and he sucks a bruise against Robert’s collarbone and he can’t help as he rocks against Aaron, dragging his clothed dick against the flat of his belly. Robert gets a hold of his jumper again and pulls it up until Aaron has to get up and sit back on his heels to take it off. He drags Robert with him, immediately unbutton Robert’s shirt as Robert pops his button and the zip on his jeans and then his own before Aaron strips his shirt off his arms.

Robert can feel himself smirking when Aaron takes an educated guess at the top drawer having lube in it and gives a little triumph laugh as he drops it on the bed. He laces his fingers through Robert’s hair again and kisses him while he repositions himself on Robert’s lap, the zip and seam providing pressure as he rolls his hips lightly over Robert’s. Robert has to dig his fingers into Aaron’s hips and pull him down tighter on himself to get the same benefit and he swallows Aaron’s little cry when he does it.

He stuffs his hand down the back of Aaron’s jeans and slips his middle finger between his cheeks. His responding jerk is involuntary but his micro push back against Robert’s ministrations was all him. It’s tight and the denim traps him doing little more than gently brushes against Aaron’s rim, teasing it before slowly letting his fingertip breech the muscle. Aaron realises how trapped Robert is when he shifts back and forth, trying to result in getting Robert’s finger further inside him and gets no further. He huffs frustratedly, pushing Robert back, his hand coming out as he bounces a little on the bed. Aaron moves back so that he can stand at the end of the bed and he takes Robert’s jeans with him, pulling off his socks at the same time before he stands with his hands hovering over the waistband of his jeans. Robert’s fighting the desire curling in his belly as he sees Aaron’s erection pushing at his zipper and the fabric of his boxers. His own dick is hard and twitching under Aaron’s gaze as it doesn’t leave him, even while he gets his trousers off his legs.

Robert doesn’t think he’s felt want like this in years, since Aaron first looked at him and found something worth seeing. His hands come up under Robert’s thighs and help to fold him up so that Aaron can get his mouth on Robert’s rim, tongue swiping against him flatly and then more targeted as Robert gets a hand on his own cock to encourage the pleasure Aaron’s giving him. His toes are curling and he feels a light sheen of sweat when Aaron finally gets his legs down. His cockhead looks moist where he’s been fiddling his fingers over it and Aaron can’t resist covering it with his mouth to suck and let pop out of his mouth with the obscene sound it makes. Aaron looks painfully red when Robert gently strokes his skin, and he’s biting his lip to hold in any sound he makes as he works two fingers inside Robert. There’s tons of lube but the press is still strong, and Robert holds himself deadly still as his body accommodates Aaron. His hand goes around Aaron’s arm where he can reach as it slowly moves towards him and Aaron’s fingers penetrate deep and Robert can’t stop his hips from curling up and down as he feels them brush against the textured skin inside him.

Robert watches as his cock leaks fluid and Aaron slips away from him and leaves him feeling empty until he’s back, holding his thighs up again and pressing his dick inside, in the same tight way his fingers felt and Robert lets it spark and crackle down his spine. His cock doesn’t flag once as Aaron lets his hips down until he’s able to wrap them around Aaron’s waist and leverage them so that Aaron comes down on his forearms, his stomach trapping Robert’s cock between them.

Their mouths skate across each other as Aaron slowly starts to move, hiking his hips up and driving into Robert. Robert’s ‘mmm’ gets snared by Aaron’s lips as he covers Robert’s mouth with his own, his hands rubbing up his arms until their fingers lace together and he’s using them to support himself. It’s everything to feel him inside, his stomach rubbing against Robert’s dick and encouraging it to dribble more pre-come onto his own belly and smear between them. Aaron must feel it because his thrusts shorten and become snappier and Robert can’t help but cry his pleasure out in high pitched sobs that tear ruined from his throat. He tries to free his hands, but Aaron holds them down, forcing Robert to accept the pleasure that it gives him.

“ _Aaron_.” It becomes a plea and benediction as Robert shifts his hips to meet Aaron’s thrusts as they start to pick up again, curling up so he moves deeper still inside him. Aaron’s breathing quickens, and his curls get looser on his forehead with sweat and Robert clenches purposely around him and feels Aaron’s hands tighten on his own. “Let’s come together, come on. I wanna feel it.”

Robert doesn’t normally go in for all that synchronised coming bullshit, but he can feel it building inside him and Aaron’s almost there he just needs a shove. He tries harder to free his hand and he gets it away before he slaps the skin of Aaron’s arse, grabbing it in his hand, his fingers digging in enough to bruise. Aaron spills almost instantaneously, his hips jerking back and forth, and Robert lets him go to give his dick the short tugs it needs to follow on from him, his moan prolonged and satisfied, his tremors lasting well after Aaron slips from him.

They’re lying side by side again but now Robert’s got his leg thrown over Aaron’s thigh and he’s brushing his hand through Robert’s leg hair.  

Aaron tilts his head and looks at him, “I chose this, I chose you.”

Robert can’t help but ask: “Why?”

“Because you were always what I wanted too.” Aaron doesn’t look away; his eyes are clear now.

“I promise you, I will be worth it. Your faith. Your _trust_.” Robert thinks the hole inside him from what has happened will never truly heal, his own regrets more suffocating than anything he can use to fight them.

“Okay.”

Other people might take offense at that, the acceptance and expectation of it, but Robert takes it with both hands gladly. All he’s wanted these past few months is just a shot at proving that they can do this, they can come back from this and Aaron’s okay means that they’ll try.

_People don’t forgive me._

_Until Aaron_.

He thanks whatever god there is that that is actually true. That his love can be and is returned.

Aaron shifts a bit, trying to get more comfortable, “You’re still a dad, Robert. That hasn’t changed.”

His heart sinks a little, “I know.”

“You have to fight for him.” Aaron looks at him and Robert is bowled over by the determination in his eyes. “I don’t want her in our lives but, that kid, he’s a part of you. I didn’t want him to be because of her. She wants to stand and gloat because she has you. She doesn’t. I do.”

 _He does_.

“You’re mine, Robert, all of it. Including that baby and there’s nothing she can do about it.” Aaron tells him with confidence.

Robert feels a surge of pride at his husband. He finally looks at Robert and sees what he always felt was all over him: Aaron is everything.

“I love you. More than everything.” Robert tells him, and for the first time he looks long enough to see that Aaron understands that.

**Author's Note:**

> That's all she wrote. Probably. Seriously, you guys have to stop getting me into this shit. [tumblr, for general fuckery](https://thesnowyswan.tumblr.com)


End file.
